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The MSJ behind closed doors -- be careful what you wish for...

Chest Rockwell

Issue date: 1/22/07 Section: Humor
At least two people have recently said to me, "Chest - I am diabetic, but I would choose the MSJ before my insulin during a life-threatening attack. That said, I am curious about what really goes on behind the scenes at this beacon of journalistic enlightenment?" Well Chest has decided to walk you through exactly how the magic happens via a timeline of a typical week in the life of this business college newspaper. For future reference, we at the MSJ recommend that diabetics reach for their insulin and the paper simultaneously during times of severe illness.

Monday 5:17 pm --

The new editors-in-chief kick off their first MSJ staff meeting. They challenge the staff with lofty goals such as bringing readership into the double-digits, and introducing a scratch-n-sniff Personals section. As part of an annual hazing ritual, the new staff members have their excess fat circled in magic marker and are beaten senseless with the AP Stylebook.

Tuesday 3:22 pm --

The Office of Career Development submits a draft for its section of the paper entitled: The Air of Arrogance - Why We Hate Dealing with Section 1. MSJ editors spend the next two days working on revisions with OCD, eventually arriving at the finished product entitled: How to Write a Proper Thank You Note.


Wednesday 9:48 am --

In an apparent act of vandalism, staff members find that the MSJ office has been "egged" and "Spytek Sucks" has been painted on the door. An eyewitness to the crime tells Campus Police that the alleged perpetrators were, "completely non-descript and had black rectangular boxes where their eyes should be. I am guessing they were probably recent victims of vicious gossip in the Ross Goss column."


Thursday 10:36 am --

Tempers flare in the newsroom as writers from the Automotive section come to blows over whether they should submit a 2,500 word review of the new Ford truck or a 3,000 word piece on the environmental benefits of the GM hybrid. Cooler heads prevail and both articles are included in the paper.
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