The Monroe Street Journal

Issue date: 3/12/07 Section: Sports

And a very happy March to all of you. Not only is March the month of St. Patrick, Dance Fusion and ice storms, it's also when we talk about college basketball until our ears pop. For example, did you hear the guard from Middle Southeastern Missouri State Tech has an ankle sprain? If they make the dance, I'm not sure I can pick them in the first round, after all. Ahh, the guessing/strategy of March Madness. But that isn't why I'm writing to you; I'm writing because it's never too early to start talking college football, especially MICHIGAN football.

For those of you who are reading this, I applaud you. First, you're reading, which, by itself, is a feat for MBA students. We've learned the art of the 'skim' all too well thanks to email. Second, you love me, you really love me. Or you hate sports, have never read me, and now I've lost you forever.

I digress, let's talk Big Blue football. As you know (maybe not) Michigan will return most of its offensive starters next year and that's a big deal, especially since we are losing most of our defensive presence next year. But, what about our head coach. What will come of our dear Lloyd Carr? Will we be Lloyd-less next year? Instead of ridiculous theorizing on the subject, this journalist, in his never-ending quest for the truth, actually did some research on the subject and found arguments to suggest Lloyd is leaving.

Argument 1: Chad Henne is the last recruit to which Lloyd Carr promised he would stay for the duration of the program. I emailed Chad to get his opinion but he wasn't able to get back to me in time by print of this paper (read: he didn't get back to me at all). So, I ask you, why would our head coach not promise this to other players? Hmmm, interesting.

Argument 2: Lloyd's contract, which I have in my possession (Freedom of Information Act, I love AMERICA!), states very cleanly for all to see a few key elements which I gleaned from an inside source:

His employment as head coach is "at-will" after July 1, 2007. Consider that he gets $600k if he remains head football coach until July 1, 2007, after which U-M can terminate his contract without penalty. Carr receives another $300k in deferred compensation provided he "remains employed by the University of Michigan" through July 1, 2008, when he must be hired as an Assistant Athletic Director (a salaried position.) So, if Lloyd simply stays employed for another two years (and given that my editor will graduate soon and stop yelling epitaphs at the coach, from Row 185, that will become much easier), he gets a $900,000 cushion for his troubles. You can see most of this in the contract, which I can email to all of you upon request.

So, assuming Lloyd has little left to coach for - I will keep you updated if I hear back from Henne - and he's fine taking his near million dollars and sitting on a boat somewhere, who gets the new job? There is some current speculation on these candidates:

• Ron English: Current defensive coordinator. We know defense wins championships (how'd that work out this year?). For those of you hip to the game Ron went to Ganesha High School; so cool!
  
• Pete Carroll: hah! Just kidding!
  
• Kirk Ferentz: Head Coach of Iowa. Why Kirk? Well, he knows Big Ten football and he's chums with UMich President Mary Sue Coleman. Also, "KF has said that he wants to have a stable place were his kids can always know where home is." I wonder if he's visited Ann Arbor. Also, he's 33-17 in the last four years. Lloyd's 37-13
  
• Les Miles: LSU's head coach. He used to be an assistant here at UMich and then went down south. Word on the street is that Les ranked UMich #4 leading to us not playing for the national championship so he might not be on the list for head coach anymore. The former editor had an interview with AD Bill Martin; perhaps some light will be shed on this subject.
  
• Vikram Vaishya: A former head coach of the Chicago over 25 Fridays flag football team, Vik always goes for it on 4th down and is a fan favorite. He'll bring to the game running up the score and will thoroughly enjoy all Gatorade poured on him
  
• Bill Parcells: The Big Tuna in A2, what could be more surreal?
  
• Jon Gruden: This one is for real; the Super Bowl champion coach for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has described the head coaching gig at Michigan, his 'dream job'. Gruden grew up in Dayton, Ohio, and played quarterback there, as well. His offensive-minded approach might heat things up during those cold November games.
  

So, to recap - it's getting down to that time when men's thoughts go to March Madness and their home teams. However, speculation abounds regarding Lloyd Carr's future. He's as dry and boring as a peanut, but our fans and our athletic department is forgiving; Lloyd has lost 4 straight bowl games, is 2-10 in the last five years in bowls and against Ohio State, and still hasn't lost his job. It's a quandary what the goal of the University of Michigan football program is: winning or being nice. This is likely Lloyd's last year in Michigan Football unless something spectacular happens. But, with the offense we're returning and a suspect Big Ten, it might be a great chance to leave out on top. My bet is for Ron English to become head coach. Good luck with your pools, Zags all the way!

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