Dudes with blades get served on ice with no chaser
Ian Black
Issue date: 4/1/07 Section: Sports
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Ross students really show their value when they think of ways to raise money for their favorite charity. Currently, I'm wearing a ridiculous mustache to prove it. Last week, we sent fifteen athletic women and fifteen, shall we say, booze receptacles, hurtling across ice, riding knife blades, and swinging wooden clubs to raise money for the U-M women's hockey team. Byproducts of this ridiculous exercise included a couple public drunkenness tickets, a couple of glittered signs, and enough laughter to make us forget we weren't nearly as drunk as the skaters.
Here are the highlights:
The boys took a while to acquaint with the ice. It wasn't so much the skating, which they couldn't do, or the turning, which requires skating, or the puck handling, which requires both; it was the falling. Once one guy fell, the rest followed suit. And most stayed there; sprawled out like dead octopi. It was safer for the guys and it helped the ladies jump ahead by four goals within minutes. MBA2 Giuseppe Commodaro must have fallen on his head; at the end of the 9-1 drubbing, he was shocked "by how bad we lost." Listen Gius, it could have been worse: if MBA2 Muhamed Balla hadn't laid down in the net, blocking all shots that didn't clear his body width, it would have looked like the Rose Bowl, where we got Booty Spanked.
The third period was full of falling. What I remember is a soar stomach and about 10 guys, splayed in numerous positions on the ice. Ricky Gordon tried his best to attack Jenny Barba, but she has a triathlon to finish, so she skated around the flailing mustachio and spent the rest of the period on the bench, or in the opposite corner of the ice. The boys actually had two chances to score and the two lazy refs took pity on them, by counting one that involved a head-locked goalie, a second puck, and poking the goalie until the disc made it in the back of the net. Did I mention there was 10 guys, including Jason Kuo…oh no Jason? Not only were you in an altered (read: exponentially beyond 'altered') state, but you were on ice; obviously a foreign substance for 'Vanilla Rice'. I'm sure your lip appreciates you trying to skate off the ice without a helmet. That's what a doctor of Neuroscience does.
What's the best part of dudes with blades, on ice, with no chaser? The crashing, the falling, the tackling, and the nicknames are all good candidates. I think MBA2 Mohamed Balla, lying nearly motionless in the goal for 60 minutes, and MBA2 Ricky Gordon's undergraduate cheering section take the cake.
Here are the highlights:
The boys took a while to acquaint with the ice. It wasn't so much the skating, which they couldn't do, or the turning, which requires skating, or the puck handling, which requires both; it was the falling. Once one guy fell, the rest followed suit. And most stayed there; sprawled out like dead octopi. It was safer for the guys and it helped the ladies jump ahead by four goals within minutes. MBA2 Giuseppe Commodaro must have fallen on his head; at the end of the 9-1 drubbing, he was shocked "by how bad we lost." Listen Gius, it could have been worse: if MBA2 Muhamed Balla hadn't laid down in the net, blocking all shots that didn't clear his body width, it would have looked like the Rose Bowl, where we got Booty Spanked.
The third period was full of falling. What I remember is a soar stomach and about 10 guys, splayed in numerous positions on the ice. Ricky Gordon tried his best to attack Jenny Barba, but she has a triathlon to finish, so she skated around the flailing mustachio and spent the rest of the period on the bench, or in the opposite corner of the ice. The boys actually had two chances to score and the two lazy refs took pity on them, by counting one that involved a head-locked goalie, a second puck, and poking the goalie until the disc made it in the back of the net. Did I mention there was 10 guys, including Jason Kuo…oh no Jason? Not only were you in an altered (read: exponentially beyond 'altered') state, but you were on ice; obviously a foreign substance for 'Vanilla Rice'. I'm sure your lip appreciates you trying to skate off the ice without a helmet. That's what a doctor of Neuroscience does.
What's the best part of dudes with blades, on ice, with no chaser? The crashing, the falling, the tackling, and the nicknames are all good candidates. I think MBA2 Mohamed Balla, lying nearly motionless in the goal for 60 minutes, and MBA2 Ricky Gordon's undergraduate cheering section take the cake.
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