Musings of A. Rosser... Rankings
A. Rosser
Issue date: 11/17/08 Section: Humor
So, is it just me or is it getting crowded in here? I mean, honestly, how many anonymous writers does a student newspaper need? I graciously welcomed The Chef when he started writing last year, and, in my own humble opinion, I think we've had a pretty good thing going since. I suppose the decision to make this gig a threesome seemed like a good idea to the MSJ Board - whether from a need to add some spice to the paper or some illusionary spice to their lives. Either way, consider this your welcome Gossip Girl - I guess the nice thing about writing gossip anonymously is that you don't have to check your facts…sounds like quite the gig.
So what's next? An anonymous food critic? Someone who anonymously interviews professors to get 'the real story'? How about an anonymous editorial board? The MSJ could be like The Economist. If they keep adding writers, this intimate threesome risks becoming a gang bang and, while I'm all for 'experimenting,' I just don't know if I'm down with that. But I digress.
Let's talk about the rankings. Unless you've been living under a rock (or don't read any of Bob's emails), you know that the new Business Week (BW) rankings were released last week. After the slaughter that was Ross in most of the rankings last year, everyone was sitting on pins and needles to see just how far we'd slide this year. Some people talked of a double-digit drop which, needless-to-say, would probably spell defeat for some of the administration. In the end, though, it wasn't a slaughter at all and we held strong at number five. Thanks to strong faculty inter collegiate output, fanatical alums, a few recruiters that seem to like us a little, and probably some pity for our shitty football team, we held our own and remained where BW had listed us last time.
But what does being 5 really mean? Me? I think 5's a great number. If you're number 1, everyone hates you and thinks you think you're better than they are. And once you reach number 1, what else do you have to live for? You've already reached the top. Number 2? Well, that just leads to some sort of inferiority complex - you're THAT close to being number 1 but just couldn't get over the hump.
5 says we're consistent. 5 says 'You're damn good and everyone likes you' without any of the hub-bub associated with being elitist. Our alum scores ranked us 3 out of all the programs. You know what that means? That means a lot of the other students don't even like their own schools. We like our school. We like our program. We're generally pretty happy with how things operate around here. (Aside - get the new building open as promised, Bob, and that 'generally' may just turn into a 'usually'.)
Dwane Wade is ecstatic to make it into Charles Barkley's 'fav 5' - why shouldn't we be happy to be in BW's?
So what's next? An anonymous food critic? Someone who anonymously interviews professors to get 'the real story'? How about an anonymous editorial board? The MSJ could be like The Economist. If they keep adding writers, this intimate threesome risks becoming a gang bang and, while I'm all for 'experimenting,' I just don't know if I'm down with that. But I digress.
Let's talk about the rankings. Unless you've been living under a rock (or don't read any of Bob's emails), you know that the new Business Week (BW) rankings were released last week. After the slaughter that was Ross in most of the rankings last year, everyone was sitting on pins and needles to see just how far we'd slide this year. Some people talked of a double-digit drop which, needless-to-say, would probably spell defeat for some of the administration. In the end, though, it wasn't a slaughter at all and we held strong at number five. Thanks to strong faculty inter collegiate output, fanatical alums, a few recruiters that seem to like us a little, and probably some pity for our shitty football team, we held our own and remained where BW had listed us last time.
But what does being 5 really mean? Me? I think 5's a great number. If you're number 1, everyone hates you and thinks you think you're better than they are. And once you reach number 1, what else do you have to live for? You've already reached the top. Number 2? Well, that just leads to some sort of inferiority complex - you're THAT close to being number 1 but just couldn't get over the hump.
5 says we're consistent. 5 says 'You're damn good and everyone likes you' without any of the hub-bub associated with being elitist. Our alum scores ranked us 3 out of all the programs. You know what that means? That means a lot of the other students don't even like their own schools. We like our school. We like our program. We're generally pretty happy with how things operate around here. (Aside - get the new building open as promised, Bob, and that 'generally' may just turn into a 'usually'.)
Dwane Wade is ecstatic to make it into Charles Barkley's 'fav 5' - why shouldn't we be happy to be in BW's?
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